Etty Hillesum - Matthew 26: 26

Les écrits d'Etty Hillesum. Journaux et lettres 1941-1943 (The writings of Etty Hillesum. Diaries and letters 1941-1943. Complete edition). Paris: Seuil, 2008, 1081 p.

While they were eating, Jesus took a loaf of bread, and after blessing it he broke it, gave it to the disciples, and said, "Take, eat; this is my body."

The next morning, early [Tuesday, October 13, 1942].
I reel wildly, wielding my little pencil like a scythe, but I can't seem to cut through the thick vegetation in my mind. –

"Some people I carry inside me like flower buds and let them bloom inside me. Others I carry inside me like ulcers, until they burst and fester. - (Mrs. Bierenhack)

"Vorwegnehmen" (anticipation). I don't know a good Dutch translation of this word. Since last night, from the depths of my bed, I am already assimilating a little of the infinite suffering that, scattered throughout the world, must be assumed. I am storing up some of this suffering in anticipation of winter. It will not happen in one day. I have a hard day ahead of me. I will stay in bed and somehow "get a head start" on all the hard days that are still ahead of me.

When I suffer for the disarmed, is it not in fact suffering for what is disarmed in me?

I broke my body like bread and shared it among men. And why not? Because they were hungry and had just come out of a long period of deprivation. –

p. 759-760